Integrating Awareness into Our Lives
From a young age, I became aware that my perception of the world was quite different from those around me. Being deeply sensitive and empathic, I could see, feel and sense energies that others seemed not to.
Feeling and knowing the intentions of those around me created its own problems. I had the ability to pre-empt people’s thoughts and true intentions. I would hear their words yet respond to their thoughts. I could feel their truth, yet I did not understand this and so I lived in a very confused emotional state. Being told I was different even more so confusing. I wanted to be accepted.
Making and sustaining friendships was difficult. I felt very alone. Isolated. Misunderstood. I would run in the mountains by myself, disappearing for hours, being with and in the beauty and peace of nature. I was happy here. Safe. Interestingly, I never once felt alone. One day there, age 15, I thought “Life is easy, people are what make life difficult”. Everything in nature lives in the moment.
Why can’t I?
I had an abilities, gifts, yet without proper guidance of how to use them. I grew up in religion yet I communed with spirit. I saw all life as spirit. I tried to supress my gifts, sometimes through substance abuse and kept quiet about it for a very long time. Yet they only became stronger.
As horrific as all of these were for me, I could never have been prepared for the absolute wealth of life experience that has been laid upon me. The spiritual growth that I have gained has set me on a path of purpose. Now I am utilizing the gifts I have hidden to help others heal and unchain themselves from their limitations.
I have become acutely aware that there is a veil between the seen and unseen world we interact with daily. Learning to navigate through this veil of frequencies with intention has empowered my own healing, thereby gifting me greater personal life control.
I could not have become the man I am today, in balance of body, mind and spirit, had I not experienced such darkness and light. I am responsible for setting my boundaries, enhancing my physical, emotional and spiritual hygiene. I discovered that I receive exactly that with which I resonate with. There can be no other way, its physics!
Some memories in our lives are easily recalled. A birthday gift, a first kiss, a graduation. These are beautiful memories. But what if this is not the case for you?
What if other memories, such as childhood trauma, are re-surfacing repeatedly. Or a toxic relationship where physical, mental and emotional abuse has left you on a wheel of self-injury.
A "hidden hand" that seems to wreak havoc on both your sleeping and waking life, to the extent that you feel so out of control in your own existence like a puppet on a string at the whimsy of an uncaring Universe?
A question I often asked myself was “did I deserve this life?” What is Karma and did it play a role in the constant difficulties of my life? And what is burning inside me that keeps me moving forward despite all of the pain?
I have lived through physical and emotional dysfunctionality, three Near Death Experiences (NDE's), PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder), depression, suicidal thoughts, homelessness, bankruptcy and broken bones from my little toe to my skull.